Online communication is harder. But is it fairer?

Kristen Gyorgak
Jun 10
3 min read

To the surprise of no one - workplace norms have changed. Hybrid, remote and flexible working arrangements are now part and parcel of office worklife.

Therefore the language we all need to become more fluent in: digital body language.

A few months back I led a session on Digital Body Language, inspired by Erica Dhawan’s book of the same name. When we're not face‑to‑face, we lose nonverbal cues. This makes building trust harder. Writing with clarity becomes the new empathy; reading carefully becomes the new listening.

We're taught implicitly and explicitly what good verbal and in-person communication looks like from the time we're old enough to talk. But have we done the same at work, with our digital body language?

Today we're all 'immigrants' learning a new culture and language, except this time it's in the digital space...You see, these days, we don't talk the talk or even walk the talk. We write the talk." (p5)

Online communication feels harder

It feels harder, because it is.

It's unnatural - Our lizard brains crave natural environments 🌤️🌳
It's exhausting - Zoom fatigue is real. Because it's unnatural, we have to use a lot more bandwidth to do it right.
Missing context - Most experts estimate that 60-90% of our in-person communication is made up of nonverbal cues. We're cueless, so we're clueless.
Our timing is off - Everything is slightly delayed and slower. We miss cues. It's awkward.
Lost in translation - Punctuation, brevity, formality, response times can all be interpreted differently.

Roughly 70% of all communications amongst teams is virtual. And The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology states that 50% of the time the 'tone' of the email is misinterpreted! Yikes.

Online communication can be fairer - if you do it right

So, it's harder. But is it fairer? Potentially...if you design for it. Fairness doesn't happen by accident. You must intentionally create norms and listen for voices that might be silent.

Here are some benefits and how you can utilise them:

⬛ It gives everyone equal space: Suddenly it doesn't matter where you sit, we're all the same Brady-Bunch sized square on the Gallery.

ACTION: Keep everyone in Gallery view to make it easy for you.

💬⌨️🙋‍♀️It provides multiple ways to share your thoughts: Verbally, in the chat, in a shared document, polling, reactions. And it means we can quickly jump into smaller breakout rooms for deeper interactions.

ACTION: Explicitly state the ways people can join in.

🗒️It's easier to bring people in: If you're leading or facilitating online you should be counting contributions. When you notice someone hasn't spoken up as much you have a few options:

Explicitly ask them. XXX, I'd love to get your thoughts on this (Protip: send them a private message first to give them a chance to think).
Openly invite. I'd like to bring in people we haven't heard from yet.
Highlight the lens/view first: We have a few people new to the team, I'd like to hear their ideas or I'd first like to get the perspective of the people who xxx.
Warn them with some buffer. Basically tell them you're going to come over to them, but have some buffer/filler statements while the person is formulating their response. Now, I'm going to ask xxx to share their update. Before I do that let me quickly remind everyone of the context...
Individually ask everyone to share. Go around one at a time.

🙈 You can build in visual breaks: In a meeting room it's easy to tell who's looking at you. But online? Anyone could be observing you at any time.

ACTION: Build in visual breaks; a quick 1-2 minutes to turn the cameras off (especially valuable for meetings over an hour long). The best time to do it is when people need to reflect/think about something or if they're sharing their thoughts in the chat/shared document.

👨‍💻 Use this as a chance to reset and reclarify your team expectations. (because you know that expectations are foundational to any team).

FREE RESOURCE: This Team Jam provides prompts and considerations around hybrid and online expectations